MAR 25: Ok, I won't just ignore the fact that I took that photo yesterday in the canyon. I know why my face is scarring. I'm burning. I'm starting to see the flames.

I do not know what I am, but to be called a human, I am not.

MAR 25: Yesterday I visited mom and told her everything. Unloaded a ridiculous amount of crap to her. Of course she wasn't concious, but it felt great to just say what I had to say. I get into loads of fights with mom, but I still love her...she's my mom. Stayed with her for about an hour, and then I left.

I left town. I'm not sure what I'm doing, or who I am at this very moment. Stole moms car and $208 from her wallet. I left. If she wakes up, and hears I'm missing, it'll destroy her. I'm being selfish, but I don't know what to do.

At this point, I don't even know if I'm going to live. I'm getting so many of these crazy marks around my face, like burnt marks, and my entire body aches. I feel like I'm going to explode at any minute.

MAR 24:

MAR 24: People are going to find out eventually, aren't they? The cops will know the fire started in my room, or I'll eventually 'out' myself in public. They'll come for me. It's not safe. Can't let them find me.

MAR 24: Mom fell back into a coma. Can't believe this. I did it.

Had nightmare where I was alone in a room, a space, all black, and could not see anything. There was a mirror. Could not see my own reflection. I could see this...monster...made of fire. Something about its face looked familiar. Can't remember.

I did this. It's just like what happened that time in the canyons with Jason and Willow. I know what this means. I've always known...

MAR 23: Mom was in a coma, but she's awake now. She is totally freaked out. She is not speaking. Her eyes look terrified when I come in.

I think I caused the fire.

MAR 22: Last night was a nightmare. My eyes were bothering me, and then my entire body began to feel like ****. After a few hours, I think my body just gave up and knocked me out to sleep.

Around 3:30 a.m. I woke up to my mom screaming. There were flames surrounding me and my bed. I have no idea how I wasn't burned. There are no burns on my body, and I wasn't even affected by the smoke that much.

The ambulance had to take my mom to the hospital for inhaling too much smoke. She passed out while trying to wake me up. It was so scary...I thought she was dead. When I got up from bed, I went to carry her out of the house. I don't know where that strength came from, but she felt as light as a feather.

The fire caught on to the hallway and spread throughout the house. I can't believe how quickly everything burned. All of our things are destroyed. My dad's things...gone.

Gotta go be with my mom now. I'll write later...

MAR 21:



MAR 21: Eyes are itchy and really red...headache continues...

MAR 20: It's been hours now and the headaches won't go away. If they continue past the weekend, I guess I'll go to the school nurse. Like she'll even know what to do :-/.

Going to the fair in a couple of days...joy.

MAR 18: Why is she so obsessed with going to the Texas State Fair this weekend??? That was my Dad's thing with me. Our own tradition. She never wanted to go before, and now that he's gone she thinks it will make things better? I am so pissed, it's giving me a headache!

MAR 16:


MAR 13: I've decided to start this journal because I've got a lot of things going on in my life that I'm confused about. Something is happening to me. I've been having fevers for 8 days straight, and that doesn't seem normal. My body is aching every day. Last night was weird, because I couldn't stop crying. I'm NOT a baby, but the pain was too bad. I finally fell asleep after like 6 hours and only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep.

The weird thing is, when I awoke, my bed sheets were burned. Even my matress had holes burned into them. What the hell is going on? Maybe I should tell my mom about this, but she would freak out. It doesn't make any sense at all.